Top Dating App Debate by Romantically Un-Hinged Redditors

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  • 01
    Font - Hr/hingeapp - Posted by u/chadpeec 19 hours ago Am I the only one who finds asking about what I learned about myself and how I was in my past relationship weird? Dating Question
  • 02
    Font - Matched with this woman on Sunday, we had a positive initial chat.. I guess she was busy during the day yesterday and so responded last night. Her question was "tell me what you learned about yourself and what you want and how you were in your previous relationships?"
  • 03
    Font - I'm all for being vulnerable and sharing and I will probably open up about these things eventually. But I don't want to sit there a few initial messages in and dissect how my previous relationship was. Am I overthinking this? Or do you folks also find it to be a weird question?
  • 04
    Font - +3.19 hr. ago Sporty Dr. Reginald Bushroot who k... LTOTR I think the timing of it was weird but not the question itself. That feels like an in person date question, not an app question. Reply Share 153 X
  • 05
    Font - chadpeec OP 19 hr. ago Yeah I don't think it's a weird question if we're like 4-5 dates in. But without meeting it's a bit odd 36 X Reply Share
  • 06
    Font - That_Sweet_Science 17 hr. ago +2. I completely agree. Let it slowly get to that topic, jumping into that without wanting to get to know the person first is a bit of a red flag. 7 X Reply Share
  • 07
    Font - chadpeec OP 10 hr. ago Here's how I responded: "That's a loaded question. My last serious relationship ended 6 years ago and a lot changed in that time. I'm sure if you show the person you are today to the person you were 6 years ago, your current self would be almost unrecognizable to your past self.
  • 08
    Font - But, in case you're wondering what my thoughts are on therapy, I do have someone I see regularly but I don't feel comfortable sharing what I discuss with my therapist, whether it's about previous relationships or otherwise." 4 X Reply Share
  • 09
    Font - furikakebabe +1 . 17 hr. ago Honestly someone asked me this after asking if wanted a deep or shallow question and I said deep. Then I responded honestly and he responded honestly. And we realized we were 100% incompatible. We figured that out in 10 messages.
  • 10
    Font - Yes; it seems forward and kind of weird. But at the same time...if we could be that efficient at determining compatibility for a long term relationship, why not? 43 X Reply Share
  • 11
    Font - GaryOak7 +2 · 19 hr. ago · edited 19 hr. ago She's interviewing you to see if she's wasting her time. This may be a "are you working to improve yourself" situation. Could go left or right. She's fishing for obvious red flags and compatibility. 57 X Reply Share
  • 12
    Font - BusyClothes3453 - 19 hr. ago Is she 30+? Sounds like she doesn't want to waste her time and is trying to see if you have awareness about yourself. Agree that it's very early and forward to ask that, but I'm not particularly surprised. 55 X Reply Share
  • 13
    Product - GaryOak7 +2 - 18 hr. ago This is correct for the 30+ bracket. I've been asked quite a few times have I been to therapy as a male and if I'm willing to go. This was during the initial messages. 33 X Reply Share
  • 14
    Font - 11 hr. ago When you've had too many men use first dates as therapy...you want to see if they have some self awareness and ANYONE else to talk to... Jinniblack 27 X Reply Share
  • 15
    Font - chadpeec OP 10 hr. ago She is 32 yeah. I mean I am serious about dating too so I think it's fine to gauge if someone is serious but it's ridiculous to ask this over chat 7 X Reply Share
  • 16
    Font - Sea_Program_4075 +1 · 18 hr. ago I know a few women who do this and I find it way too much, too soon. I had a guy ask me what I want in a relationship that I didn't get in my last one and that was a few messages into the chat on the app.
  • 17
    Font - I never responded. I used to try to keep it going but honestly, once people get into overly intense social media advice tactics, I just bounce. I'm screening for fun banter and common interests on the app to see if I want to meet, not get an essay about someone's life story.
  • 18
    Font - throwaway384338 edited 19 hr. ago +2. 19 hr. ago. Ew. And you two haven't even met? Not overthinking it. Weird question. If I were petty I think I'd throw the question back at them haha, but I think I've asked questions like that in the past before I realized that it puts people on the defensive.
  • 19
    Font - 17 hr. ago A couple different motives come to mind: 1. I think the woman was possibly hurt very recently and hasn't gotten over it. She's doing this as a way to protect herself. HIBunbun 2. Shes the type of person that wants/needs a deeper connection and seeks to establish one from the get go. Perhaps boundaries are an issue for her?
  • 20
    Font - 3. She's gauging to see if you'll be worth meeting in person. I'm any case; you can let her know how you feel about the question. There's nothing wrong with you letting her know that you don't get deep and emotionally vulnerable with everyone right off the bat. You want to nurture an environment where you feel comfortable letting someone know those types of things about you.

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